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The rarely updated blog of Joel Dixon

Viewing blogs in section General

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Not Will Ferrell Trivia

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 21/09/2008 10:08:53

Another reason I like Will Ferrell:

Will Ferrell Answers Your Internet Questions




# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Funny, Web
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Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Timmy didn't think about the Mini-Feed

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 27/08/2008 21:01:43

Actual screenshot of one of my Facebook friend's Mini-Feed (I've changed the names to "Timmy" to protect the horny):

Mini Feed

Either my 15-year-old self borrowed Timmy's PC when he wasn't looking - or Timmy was bored a few nights ago and went trawling for Facebook funbags.

I must say, Fan de Big Tits does sound like a fun group.

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Web
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Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Thongs and Superglue

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 06/08/2008 22:13:16

The title says it all - I received the following image in an email forward:

GThongs and Superglue

People falling down are funny. Especially when they are holding a drink.

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Funny
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Monday, August 04, 2008

The Deep Voiced Knight

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 04/08/2008 22:56:05

I saw The Dark Knight on the weekend and enjoyed it muchly. It goes without saying that Heath Ledger's contribution was incredible. One small aspect of his performance that I didn't expect when going in was his portrayal of the Joker's voice - it was a pleasant surprise. Christian Bale's take on Batman's "man voice" however - was very distracting.

Looks like I'm not the only one to think this - nor the most eloquent. One of the blogs I read hosted a mock interview with the caped crusader recently - which sums up my feelings quite well.

Quoting Geese Aplenty:
And you know what's even more annoying? You do it in front of people like Rachel and Lucius, who know who you are. I'm surprised they're not all 'Bruce, we get it, you're a badass. Now stop pretending you have a 6-pack a day habit.' What is the third movie in the series going to be called, anyway? "Batman Enunciates"?
Indeed.

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Movies
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Monday, July 28, 2008

Superman x 4

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 28/07/2008 22:26:05

I was browsing through my iPod's song library looking for Sweet Child o' Mine, as I've been playing my Guitar Hero games a lot recently.

When my scrolling arrived near the Sw section I noticed that a song called Superman was shown four times. I thought it might be a bug, until I played each of them - and they were all different songs:
I do have a few song titles twice (Alive, Always, Beautiful etc) but nothing else approaching four. And since getting all of the Wiki links for those songs - I've noticed another song title Superman that I listen to a hell of a lot. Superman by Lazlo Bane is the theme song for the TV show Scrubs. A quick search on iTunes shows there are heaps more from bands / artists such as Sandi Thom, Ronan Keating, Unwritten Law, R.E.M., The Kinks etc.

I wonder what the most popular song title is. Purple Monkey Dishwasher?

Superman iPod

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Music
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Saturday, July 26, 2008

People from Brisbane like reading about sex

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 26/07/2008 14:49:39

(news at 11)

I scan the news headlines each day at The Age's website. After doing a quick scan of the headlines from the homepage, I've recently started scrolling to the bottom of the page each day to check the "Readers' most viewed" links. Each day the top 5 viewed news stories are linked, from 4 different newspapers (The Age, Sydney Morning Herald, WA today and the Brisbane Times).

Since doing this, I've noticed something peculiar about the top 1 or 2 articles for the Brisbane Times' readership. I've taken a screen shot of 5 days in a row - and only left in articles from the Melbourne and Brisbane based newspapers. See if you can spot the pattern:

Monday
Day 1

Tuesday
Day 2

Wednesday
Day 3

Thursday
Day 4

Friday
Day 5

Admittedly, the week I chose may have been rigged - as Big Brother is filmed at Dreamworld (Queensland) - and large-breasted housemates Bianca and Brigitte were evicted in that week. But that doesn't explain their two-day fascination with corpse-sex.

I did read the article about sex being used as a punishment for shoplifting - but it turns out the only people being punished were females. Guess I'll keep stealing my copies of Zoo Weekly elsewhere.

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Web
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Monday, July 14, 2008

Dimitri the (crazy and egotistical) lover

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 14/07/2008 19:12:28

I was listening to a podcast of an ex-Melbourne radio show - The Shebang - when they played an audio clip of "Dimitri" leaving a few phone messages for a girl named Olga. Marty and Fifi concluded that Dimitri was the most egotistical man on the planet - and when you listen to the clip it's hard to disagree. I've linked to a YouTube video of it - and the whole transcript is below. The transcript is an indication of the crazy going on - but it's no substitute for the audio.

Dimitri the Lover


Quoting Dimitri The Lover - First Message:
Yeah hi there Olga, it's Dimitri.

Sorry I had to leave such a rushed message with you when we met the other day. I just wanted to quickly give you my phone number, and had to get the heck out of the area. In any event, I figured I better leave you a more detailed message and explain why I approached you.

I am single. I have no trouble meeting women; I mean, women approach me ... six, seven times a day. But I'm very particular about what I like. You're extremely elegant. I couldn't take my eyes off of you, and your friends were very jealous — even if they say they weren't, they were envious of the fact that I approached you, and I was very taken by you. Elegant women are very rare. I'm Greek and I'm very particular about what I like. So I'm giving you an opportunity here.

I don't know if you pick up the messages on the weekend but I'm working on a movie script so I'm pretty much around all weekend, doing that. I left you my number [number here]. This looks like a land line, and if it is, you may not get the message till Monday. But when you do, call me and then we'll get together for coffee and chat, and let the romance begin.

You looked very taken aback by my approach, and I hope that isn't timidness, I hope it was just a little bit of shock at being approached so directly. Because I don't really date timid women, because I'm a very direct, very passionate, very assertive man, and I want a woman who's very independent and strong. So anyway we'll talk about that, but I just wanted to formally introduce myself. Now I have. I leave the ball in your court. You call me as soon as you have the courage to. Okay, Olga? Talk to you soon, bye.

It gets much better when apparently Olga doesn't call Dimitri back for three days:

Quoting Dimitri The Lover - Second Message:
Hi there, Olga. It's Dimitri calling again, the guy from the street.

I left you a message several days ago, you said you were interested. Now, here's the way I work. I don't like leaving second messages, but I like you, you're a very elegant woman, you're very attractive, but, you know, I don't play that game. I know your friends tell you not to return calls; you're playing games like you see in stupid TV shows. So here's how it's gonna work.

It is now 4:30 on Wednesday. Now I'll assume ... I'll assume that you've already left work, because you know, some people leave early, and I'll grant you that. But if I do not receive a phone call back from you by 3 o'clock Thursday afternoon, I'm no longer interested and you can erase my number. I don't play games like that.

I'm completely single, I'm very intelligent, I'm great in bed, I make great money. Believe it or not, I'm a complete catch. I've only been single four months, I had a long distance relationship, you know - went a year, it's very tough to maintain it like that and it didn't work out. There's nothing wrong with me. Matter of fact I'm one of the few men in the city that has nothing wrong with him. So I'm giving you that three o'clock deadline. If I don't hear from you, you lose my number. I'm erasing yours right now, so you won't be hearing back from me.

So that's it: three o'clock tomorrow, or you can just completely forget it.

Now I understand if you've got other issues, like maybe you're not playing games, maybe you've had - I don't know ... maybe you were abused in childhood? Maybe your mother has cancer, you're going to chemo? Maybe you're just a person who's just extremely frightened or has an anxiety disorder, maybe you're on some medication for that. I don't know, there could be another issue that I'm not aware of.

But nobody says "Call me," hands a person a business card and then doesn't return calls. It's extremely passive aggressive. You should actually look that up, passive-aggressive personality disorder. And you let me know, if you've got issues, psychological issues, if you're on any sort of medication for anxiety or depression, I'm not interested. OK? But if you're psychologically normal, and you haven't called me because there's been some horrible thing that's happened in your life which prevented you that's fine. But otherwise? Don't call me. Okay? Bye.

Wow. Just wow!

After a little research into this Lothario revealed a wealth of information.

Here's his website where he was providing advice and workshops in the art of seduction. But if you are in the Toronto area, don't get your hopes too high. He's taking time off over the Summer for a few documentary projects - of which he is the star of course. And you must see the genuine products he has on offer. I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone wearing these down the street yet.

Then I found a few sites talking about his checkered past (such as changing his name after having his medical license suspended due to sexual impropriety - classy).

One thing's for sure. He certainly is a complete catch!

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Funny
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Friday, May 30, 2008

What bow and arrow?

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 30/05/2008 18:54:55

This picture popped up in my inbox with the subject "What kind of bow is this?"

Bow and Arrow

The answer given was "Who gives a shit" - and I must say it's a fair response. Prepare for an increase in archery crowds.

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Hawt
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Sunday, April 20, 2008

Plants and Pop

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 20/04/2008 19:49:07
Updated by Joel Dixon at 20/04/2008 21:13:53

I stumbled over an amusing post with a collection of science fair photos on Photo Basement. Here's some of my favourites:

Plants and Pop
Plants and Pop
I seriously want to find out what the results were. Why is the government hiding this stuff from us? It's the EV1 all over again.

Moon Babies
Moon Babies
Moon Babies. What more can you say?

Animal Magnetism
Animal Magnetism
Animal Magnetism. You're telling me!

The Code of the Meniscus
Best Jumper Ever
Best. Jumper. Ever! (except for maybe this one)

The Ideal Pancreas
The Ideal Pancreas
Part 2 mind you. I assume all the good stuff was in part 1.

If I were back in an American high school, my experiment would probably be about cats and whether they want cheeseburgers.

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Funny
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Friday, April 11, 2008

Garfield minus Garfield

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 11/04/2008 21:43:47
Updated by Joel Dixon at 12/04/2008 00:26:11

The Internet is a wonderful place. Sure, there's plenty of downsides, but at times it appears that we've discovered the proverbial thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters. Amongst all of the internet crap - there's a heap of gems, like Garfield minus Garfield. From the site:

Quote:
Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness in a quiet American suburb.

Basically he photoshops Garfield out of the Garfield comics and it turns into a hilarious comic about a crazy Jon. I browsed the site and he has picked some very funny ones - exhibit A.

Anyway, on the train home the other night I picked up a copy of the Herald Sun and flicked through to the comic section. Sure enough - the comic I saw was another example of a good Garfield minus Garfield so I got Bell to photoshop it up for me. When you mouse over the image it will be replaced with the original comic (give it a second to load), or if you don't have Javascript enabled you can just click it.



Check out the site - don't let the monkey's work be in vein!

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Funny, Web
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Recent Blogs
Not Will Ferrell Trivia
Timmy didn't think about the Mini-Feed
Thongs and Superglue
The Deep Voiced Knight
Jonathan Roy charged with assault
Superman x 4
People from Brisbane like reading about sex
Dimitri the (crazy and egotistical) lover
The Simpsons Game
What bow and arrow?

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