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The rarely updated blog of Joel Dixon

Viewing blogs posted in 2008

Monday, July 28, 2008

Superman x 4

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 28/07/2008 22:26:05

I was browsing through my iPod's song library looking for Sweet Child o' Mine, as I've been playing my Guitar Hero games a lot recently.

When my scrolling arrived near the Sw section I noticed that a song called Superman was shown four times. I thought it might be a bug, until I played each of them - and they were all different songs:

Superman by Eminem
Superman (It's Not Easy) by Five for Fighting (a very cool stage name)
Superman by Goldfinger (I used to love this song when playing the original Tony Hawk game)
Superman by Stereophonics

I do have a few song titles twice (Alive, Always, Beautiful etc) but nothing else approaching four. And since getting all of the Wiki links for those songs - I've noticed another song title Superman that I listen to a hell of a lot. Superman by Lazlo Bane is the theme song for the TV show Scrubs. A quick search on iTunes shows there are heaps more from bands / artists such as Sandi Thom, Ronan Keating, Unwritten Law, R.E.M., The Kinks etc.

I wonder what the most popular song title is. Purple Monkey Dishwasher?

Superman iPod

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Music

Saturday, July 26, 2008

People from Brisbane like reading about sex

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 26/07/2008 14:49:39

(news at 11)

I scan the news headlines each day at The Age's website. After doing a quick scan of the headlines from the homepage, I've recently started scrolling to the bottom of the page each day to check the "Readers' most viewed" links. Each day the top 5 viewed news stories are linked, from 4 different newspapers (The Age, Sydney Morning Herald, WA today and the Brisbane Times).

Since doing this, I've noticed something peculiar about the top 1 or 2 articles for the Brisbane Times' readership. I've taken a screen shot of 5 days in a row - and only left in articles from the Melbourne and Brisbane based newspapers. See if you can spot the pattern:

Monday
Day 1

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Admittedly, the week I chose may have been rigged - as Big Brother is filmed at Dreamworld (Queensland) - and large-breasted housemates Bianca and Brigitte were evicted in that week. But that doesn't explain their two-day fascination with corpse-sex.

I did read the article about sex being used as a punishment for shoplifting - but it turns out the only people being punished were females. Guess I'll keep stealing my copies of Zoo Weekly elsewhere.

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Web

Monday, July 14, 2008

Dimitri the (crazy and egotistical) lover

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 14/07/2008 19:12:28
Updated by Joel Dixon at 25/02/2009 09:45:28

I was listening to a podcast of an ex-Melbourne radio show - The Shebang - when they played an audio clip of "Dimitri" leaving a few phone messages for a girl named Olga. Marty and Fifi concluded that Dimitri was the most egotistical man on the planet - and when you listen to the clip it's hard to disagree. I've linked to a YouTube video of it - and the whole transcript is below. The transcript is an indication of the crazy going on - but it's no substitute for the audio.

Dimitri the Lover

Quoting Dimitri The Lover - First Message:
Yeah hi there Olga, it's Dimitri.

Sorry I had to leave such a rushed message with you when we met the other day. I just wanted to quickly give you my phone number, and had to get the heck out of the area. In any event, I figured I better leave you a more detailed message and explain why I approached you.

I am single. I have no trouble meeting women; I mean, women approach me ... six, seven times a day. But I'm very particular about what I like. You're extremely elegant. I couldn't take my eyes off of you, and your friends were very jealous - even if they say they weren't, they were envious of the fact that I approached you, and I was very taken by you. Elegant women are very rare. I'm Greek and I'm very particular about what I like. So I'm giving you an opportunity here.

I don't know if you pick up the messages on the weekend but I'm working on a movie script so I'm pretty much around all weekend, doing that. I left you my number [number here]. This looks like a land line, and if it is, you may not get the message till Monday. But when you do, call me and then we'll get together for coffee and chat, and let the romance begin.

You looked very taken aback by my approach, and I hope that isn't timidness, I hope it was just a little bit of shock at being approached so directly. Because I don't really date timid women, because I'm a very direct, very passionate, very assertive man, and I want a woman who's very independent and strong. So anyway we'll talk about that, but I just wanted to formally introduce myself. Now I have. I leave the ball in your court. You call me as soon as you have the courage to. Okay, Olga? Talk to you soon, bye.

It gets much better when apparently Olga doesn't call Dimitri back for three days:

Quoting Dimitri The Lover - Second Message:
Hi there, Olga. It's Dimitri calling again, the guy from the street.

I left you a message several days ago, you said you were interested. Now, here's the way I work. I don't like leaving second messages, but I like you, you're a very elegant woman, you're very attractive, but, you know, I don't play that game. I know your friends tell you not to return calls; you're playing games like you see in stupid TV shows. So here's how it's gonna work.

It is now 4:30 on Wednesday. Now I'll assume ... I'll assume that you've already left work, because you know, some people leave early, and I'll grant you that. But if I do not receive a phone call back from you by 3 o'clock Thursday afternoon, I'm no longer interested and you can erase my number. I don't play games like that.

I'm completely single, I'm very intelligent, I'm great in bed, I make great money. Believe it or not, I'm a complete catch. I've only been single four months, I had a long distance relationship, you know - went a year, it's very tough to maintain it like that and it didn't work out. There's nothing wrong with me. Matter of fact I'm one of the few men in the city that has nothing wrong with him. So I'm giving you that three o'clock deadline. If I don't hear from you, you lose my number. I'm erasing yours right now, so you won't be hearing back from me.

So that's it: three o'clock tomorrow, or you can just completely forget it.

Now I understand if you've got other issues, like maybe you're not playing games, maybe you've had - I don't know ... maybe you were abused in childhood? Maybe your mother has cancer, you're going to chemo? Maybe you're just a person who's just extremely frightened or has an anxiety disorder, maybe you're on some medication for that. I don't know, there could be another issue that I'm not aware of.

But nobody says "Call me," hands a person a business card and then doesn't return calls. It's extremely passive aggressive. You should actually look that up, passive-aggressive personality disorder. And you let me know, if you've got issues, psychological issues, if you're on any sort of medication for anxiety or depression, I'm not interested. OK? But if you're psychologically normal, and you haven't called me because there's been some horrible thing that's happened in your life which prevented you that's fine. But otherwise? Don't call me. Okay? Bye.

Wow. Just wow!

After a little research into this Lothario revealed a wealth of information.

Here's his website where he was providing advice and workshops in the art of seduction. But if you are in the Toronto area, don't get your hopes too high. He's taking time off over the Summer for a few documentary projects - of which he is the star of course. And you must see the genuine products he has on offer. I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone wearing these down the street yet.

Then I found a few sites talking about his checkered past (such as changing his name after having his medical license suspended due to sexual impropriety - classy).

One thing's for sure. He certainly is a complete catch!

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Funny

Monday, June 30, 2008

The Simpsons Game

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 30/06/2008 18:57:57

Quote:
It was the best of games, it was the blurst of games.Last Exit to Springfield

There have been 21 other games in the long list of Simpsons-based video games, and it's fair to say that very few of them have been worth playing. The Simpsons Hit & Run was pretty good and Bart vs. The Space Mutants kept me entertained as a kid - but most of the games have run the gamut from totally shit to an occasionally enjoyable distraction.

It is with this in mind that when the last Simpson game was announced - with the original title of The Simpsons Game - I wasn't expecting much.

There's a different cover design for each version of the game

The Simpsons Game features an original storyline - it was initially assumed this game might be a movie tie-in with the recently released Simpsons Movie - in which Bart discovers that the family is part of a video game. You can control Homer, Marge, Lisa and Bart and each member of the family has different skills and abilities. The game is broken up into 16 episodes - each with a different setting built around the two characters you will play as.

Developed by EA, poster boy for all that is wrong in the video game industry, this was a very tough game to keep playing. Deaths are far too frequent due to clunky gameplay and the camera seemingly intent on sabotage. If this game was on any other subject, I probably would have stopped playing it after a few hours. But this is where the story kicks in.

The game was written by three Simpsons writers and all in-game dialogue is delivered by the actual Simpsons actors. The story is very funny, and reminiscent of the golden age of Simpsons episodes (for me anyway). The town of Springfield is also pretty faithfully represented in digital form, including internal designs with the comic book store, police station, Kwik-E-Mart, Moe's Tavern and more.

Although there isn't much you can do there, running around the inside of places like the church is a nice touch

The funny, Simpsons-style story alone would make for a good game even considering the poor game play issues, but the most pleasantly surprising aspect of the game for me was the video game references. The game makes fun of past and current video games as well as the whole games industry including EA themselves. There's also many brief aspects of the game play included as homage to famous games in history, such as space invaders, all rendered in the regular in-game engine with a different camera angle (generally top-down).

Mmmm, chocolate

There's no online component to the game, and the achievements are uninspired. Apart from the "finish the game" type achievements, most of the points are handed out for collecting the various "collectibles" throughout the game. That being said, The Simpsons Game does give up one of the most amusing achievements I've "achieved" on the ol' 360. I won't give it away, but you'd see what I was talking about if you ever decided to give this game a go.

3.5 out of 5

# Posted in the Gaming section and tagged as: Xbox 360

Friday, May 30, 2008

What bow and arrow?

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 30/05/2008 18:54:55

This picture popped up in my inbox with the subject "What kind of bow is this?"

The answer given was "Who gives a shit" - and I must say it's a fair response. Prepare for an increase in archery crowds.

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Hawt

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Plants and Pop

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 20/04/2008 19:49:07
Updated by Joel Dixon at 20/04/2008 21:13:53

I stumbled over an amusing post with a collection of science fair photos on Photo Basement. Here's some of my favourites:

Plants and Pop

I seriously want to find out what the results were. Why is the government hiding this stuff from us? It's the EV1 all over again.

Moon Babies

Moon Babies. What more can you say?

Animal Magnetism

Animal Magnetism. You're telling me!

The Code of the Meniscus
Best Jumper Ever

Best. Jumper. Ever! (except for maybe this one)

The Ideal Pancreas

Part 2 mind you. I assume all the good stuff was in part 1.

If I were back in an American high school, my experiment would probably be about cats and whether they want cheeseburgers.

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Funny

Thursday, April 17, 2008

NHL 2K6

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 17/04/2008 22:59:06
Updated by Joel Dixon at 18/04/2008 08:24:03

As I've mentioned I'm a huge fan of NHL video games, and have tried to collect one for each year. A little while ago I found a second-hand version of NHL 2K6 for the 360 so I snapped it up.

NHL 2K6 with Marty Turco on the cover

2K6 was the first NHL game released on the Xbox 360 - and it kinda shows. Buying a two-year-old game I didn't expect anything fantastic, but I can't image it would have been that special even when it was first released. It wouldn't run on PAL-60, so to play this game I needed to changed the cords I was using and alter the Xbox's display settings. There was also some freezing issues with the game, and the 2K Sports interface was getting very clunky by this stage.

I played a few games with my beloved Penguins, and it's always fun controlling Crosby around the ice - but there wasn't much reason to continue once I earned the 5 achievements. It will take it's place on the shelf next to the other NHL games, and the Tony Hawk series.

# Posted in the Gaming section and tagged as: Xbox 360

Friday, April 11, 2008

Garfield minus Garfield

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 11/04/2008 21:43:47
Updated by Joel Dixon at 12/04/2008 00:26:11

The Internet is a wonderful place. Sure, there's plenty of downsides, but at times it appears that we've discovered the proverbial thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters. Amongst all of the internet crap - there's a heap of gems, like Garfield minus Garfield. From the site:

Quote:
Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness in a quiet American suburb.

Basically he photoshops Garfield out of the Garfield comics and it turns into a hilarious comic about a crazy Jon. I browsed the site and he has picked some very funny ones - exhibit A.

Anyway, on the train home the other night I picked up a copy of the Herald Sun and flicked through to the comic section. Sure enough - the comic I saw was another example of a good Garfield minus Garfield so I got Bell to photoshop it up for me. When you mouse over the image it will be replaced with the original comic (give it a second to load), or if you don't have Javascript enabled you can just click it.

Check out the site - don't let the monkey's work be in vein!

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Funny, Web

Monday, March 31, 2008

Jonathan Roy assaults Bobby Nadeau

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 31/03/2008 20:46:58
Updated by Joel Dixon at 01/04/2008 15:03:03

About a week ago the Quebec Remparts were losing by 6 goals in game 2 of their playoff series against the Chicoutimi Sagueneens in the Quebec Major Junior League when a fight broke out. The fight turned into a bit of a brawl with most of the players on the ice getting involved and the following happened:

Jonathan Roy assaults Bobby Nadeau

The goalie in red is Jonathan Roy, backup netminder for the Remparts with a very ordinary 3-10 record in 22 games this season. The only reason this incident made national news is Jonathan is the son of Patrick Roy, retired Hall of Fame goaltender for the Montreal Canadians and Colorado Avalanche. Patrick is also well known for his short temper on the ice and being arrested on a domestic violence charge after an argument with his wife (I bet Jonathan is bummed that his Dad passed on his temper and not his hockey ability).

What Roy did had nothing to do with the fight of the hockey game - he just outright physically assaulted the goalie in blue, Bobby Nadeau (who is the starting goalie for the Sagueneens and who's team will actually suffer if he was suspended). It's clear that Nadeau wasn't interested in fighting, and Roy didn't let up when Nadeau was dropped to the ice. The footage says everything.

Obviously this isn't great publicity for the sport of hockey but the worst part of this story is the "punishment" that was dished out to Jonathan and Patrick Roy. While it's good that Patrick was suspended (albeit for only 5 games), Jonathan's suspension of 7 games is nothing more than a slap on the wrists. What a joke.

I can only hope that the police get involved and give the second-rate backup goalie a punishment that fits.

# Posted in the Hockey section

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Overheard on a train

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 23/03/2008 16:15:53
Updated by Joel Dixon at 26/03/2008 19:47:37 - spelling

A little while ago on a train home from work I was sitting near two people that looked to be around 19 or 20 having a seemingly normal conversation. My ears pricked up a little when I heard the following:

Quote:
Curious Girl: Do you think nuns masturbate?

Uncomfortable Boy: Um ... [long pause] I'm sure they probably do.

CG: Is it some kind of sin?

UB: Probably. But then again so is pedophilia.

Quite the odd conversation, but it's apparently something that some people are wondering about.

And it seems the "myth of the pedophile priest" thing is still going strong.

# Posted in the General section

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