"My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star." - Abraham Simpson, The Simpsons 3G04

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The rarely updated blog of Joel Dixon

Viewing blogs posted in July, 2008

Monday, July 28, 2008

Superman x 4

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 28/07/2008 22:26:05

I was browsing through my iPod's song library looking for Sweet Child o' Mine, as I've been playing my Guitar Hero games a lot recently.

When my scrolling arrived near the Sw section I noticed that a song called Superman was shown four times. I thought it might be a bug, until I played each of them - and they were all different songs:

Superman by Eminem
Superman (It's Not Easy) by Five for Fighting (a very cool stage name)
Superman by Goldfinger (I used to love this song when playing the original Tony Hawk game)
Superman by Stereophonics

I do have a few song titles twice (Alive, Always, Beautiful etc) but nothing else approaching four. And since getting all of the Wiki links for those songs - I've noticed another song title Superman that I listen to a hell of a lot. Superman by Lazlo Bane is the theme song for the TV show Scrubs. A quick search on iTunes shows there are heaps more from bands / artists such as Sandi Thom, Ronan Keating, Unwritten Law, R.E.M., The Kinks etc.

I wonder what the most popular song title is. Purple Monkey Dishwasher?

Superman iPod

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Music

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Saturday, July 26, 2008

People from Brisbane like reading about sex

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 26/07/2008 14:49:39

(news at 11)

I scan the news headlines each day at The Age's website. After doing a quick scan of the headlines from the homepage, I've recently started scrolling to the bottom of the page each day to check the "Readers' most viewed" links. Each day the top 5 viewed news stories are linked, from 4 different newspapers (The Age, Sydney Morning Herald, WA today and the Brisbane Times).

Since doing this, I've noticed something peculiar about the top 1 or 2 articles for the Brisbane Times' readership. I've taken a screen shot of 5 days in a row - and only left in articles from the Melbourne and Brisbane based newspapers. See if you can spot the pattern:

Monday
Day 1

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Admittedly, the week I chose may have been rigged - as Big Brother is filmed at Dreamworld (Queensland) - and large-breasted housemates Bianca and Brigitte were evicted in that week. But that doesn't explain their two-day fascination with corpse-sex.

I did read the article about sex being used as a punishment for shoplifting - but it turns out the only people being punished were females. Guess I'll keep stealing my copies of Zoo Weekly elsewhere.

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Web

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Monday, July 14, 2008

Dimitri the (crazy and egotistical) lover

# Posted by Joel Dixon at 14/07/2008 19:12:28

I was listening to a podcast of an ex-Melbourne radio show - The Shebang - when they played an audio clip of "Dimitri" leaving a few phone messages for a girl named Olga. Marty and Fifi concluded that Dimitri was the most egotistical man on the planet - and when you listen to the clip it's hard to disagree. I've linked to a YouTube video of it - and the whole transcript is below. The transcript is an indication of the crazy going on - but it's no substitute for the audio.

Dimitri the Lover

Quoting Dimitri The Lover - First Message:
Yeah hi there Olga, it's Dimitri.

Sorry I had to leave such a rushed message with you when we met the other day. I just wanted to quickly give you my phone number, and had to get the heck out of the area. In any event, I figured I better leave you a more detailed message and explain why I approached you.

I am single. I have no trouble meeting women; I mean, women approach me ... six, seven times a day. But I'm very particular about what I like. You're extremely elegant. I couldn't take my eyes off of you, and your friends were very jealous — even if they say they weren't, they were envious of the fact that I approached you, and I was very taken by you. Elegant women are very rare. I'm Greek and I'm very particular about what I like. So I'm giving you an opportunity here.

I don't know if you pick up the messages on the weekend but I'm working on a movie script so I'm pretty much around all weekend, doing that. I left you my number [number here]. This looks like a land line, and if it is, you may not get the message till Monday. But when you do, call me and then we'll get together for coffee and chat, and let the romance begin.

You looked very taken aback by my approach, and I hope that isn't timidness, I hope it was just a little bit of shock at being approached so directly. Because I don't really date timid women, because I'm a very direct, very passionate, very assertive man, and I want a woman who's very independent and strong. So anyway we'll talk about that, but I just wanted to formally introduce myself. Now I have. I leave the ball in your court. You call me as soon as you have the courage to. Okay, Olga? Talk to you soon, bye.

It gets much better when apparently Olga doesn't call Dimitri back for three days:

Quoting Dimitri The Lover - Second Message:
Hi there, Olga. It's Dimitri calling again, the guy from the street.

I left you a message several days ago, you said you were interested. Now, here's the way I work. I don't like leaving second messages, but I like you, you're a very elegant woman, you're very attractive, but, you know, I don't play that game. I know your friends tell you not to return calls; you're playing games like you see in stupid TV shows. So here's how it's gonna work.

It is now 4:30 on Wednesday. Now I'll assume ... I'll assume that you've already left work, because you know, some people leave early, and I'll grant you that. But if I do not receive a phone call back from you by 3 o'clock Thursday afternoon, I'm no longer interested and you can erase my number. I don't play games like that.

I'm completely single, I'm very intelligent, I'm great in bed, I make great money. Believe it or not, I'm a complete catch. I've only been single four months, I had a long distance relationship, you know - went a year, it's very tough to maintain it like that and it didn't work out. There's nothing wrong with me. Matter of fact I'm one of the few men in the city that has nothing wrong with him. So I'm giving you that three o'clock deadline. If I don't hear from you, you lose my number. I'm erasing yours right now, so you won't be hearing back from me.

So that's it: three o'clock tomorrow, or you can just completely forget it.

Now I understand if you've got other issues, like maybe you're not playing games, maybe you've had - I don't know ... maybe you were abused in childhood? Maybe your mother has cancer, you're going to chemo? Maybe you're just a person who's just extremely frightened or has an anxiety disorder, maybe you're on some medication for that. I don't know, there could be another issue that I'm not aware of.

But nobody says "Call me," hands a person a business card and then doesn't return calls. It's extremely passive aggressive. You should actually look that up, passive-aggressive personality disorder. And you let me know, if you've got issues, psychological issues, if you're on any sort of medication for anxiety or depression, I'm not interested. OK? But if you're psychologically normal, and you haven't called me because there's been some horrible thing that's happened in your life which prevented you that's fine. But otherwise? Don't call me. Okay? Bye.

Wow. Just wow!

After a little research into this Lothario revealed a wealth of information.

Here's his website where he was providing advice and workshops in the art of seduction. But if you are in the Toronto area, don't get your hopes too high. He's taking time off over the Summer for a few documentary projects - of which he is the star of course. And you must see the genuine products he has on offer. I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone wearing these down the street yet.

Then I found a few sites talking about his checkered past (such as changing his name after having his medical license suspended due to sexual impropriety - classy).

One thing's for sure. He certainly is a complete catch!

# Posted in the General section and tagged as: Funny

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